Money.
Monnnneeeyyyyyy.
It’s the worst.
It drives us, motivates us, provides for us, and comforts us while also stripping us of our enjoyment, independence, and autonomy. We don’t get to have a say in our lives when are lives are ruled by the pursuit and use of money. It changes everything- and it changes people, especially when you move from one side of the pendulum to the other.
But it is an inevitability in our current society. We decided that these pieces of paper had value, and that accruing that value is worth compromising pretty much everything, because having a mountain of value means that you get to have control and power over your circumstance. And to a certain extent, that’s a good thing— you should have at least some control and autonomy over your life and body. There are those who can’t have that luxury, and those who don’t want that luxury, but for the most part, that’s the goal.
There is the saying that there are live-to-work people, and work-to-live people. There are people who love the drive of a professional career and accomplishments, who enjoy learning and applying new information, and prefer to spend their energy developing that aspect of their life. Then there are the people who are just there for the paycheck so they can spend their time and energy to exploring the world, developing relationships and skills, and experiencing life in all areas, not just professional success. Neither of these people are wrong, and each type needs the other type to balance it out, All work and no play means burnout, higher rates of suicide, and a limited, one-dimensional view on the world. All play and no work leads to lack of personal accountability, no development forward, and a naive expectation that rewards come without work. The world needs the workers AND the dreamers- the creative minds to develop new concepts, and analytical minds to take that idea from concept to actual change.
So where do you fall? I tend to fall in the work-to-live camp— how much I earn is irrelevant compared to what the work is. I am a social worker by trade, and getting paid a decent wage was completely out of the question from the start. So then my situation is this- the money is crap any way you slice it, so what would I prefer to do to earn that money? Do I work a job that breaks me down mentally and emotionally for peanuts? Or do I eat a lot of unpaid hours working a job that only sucks sometimes? I am so unhappy when I work for other people. I don’t like working by someone else’s rules, and I REALLY don’t like being micromanaged. I like creating my own systems and organization and protocol and developing an efficient system. I don’t like having to slow down for people who don’t get it, and I don’t like spinning my wheels because I am too far ahead of my colleagues.
Starting Coyote Mint Company was really freaking hard, and there was such a steep learning curve, but I would work 1,000 unpaid hours to call myself boss than to put in 40 and call someone else that title. In addition to the satisfaction and freedom of opening and running this company with my best friend, I have learned so many lessons that I will need when I open up my own practice within the next 10 years. The major thing I learned? THAT I CAN. I CAN start a business. I CAN figure out taxes. I CAN move to a new state and make things work. I CAN take a risk because I CAN figure shit out when I need to. In my 20’s, I felt like I was the newbie MMA fighter getting my ass handed to me at every turn. In my 30’s, I feel like that final scene in the movie where you get knocked down but then you get the fuck back up slowly and bring your hands up and give the chin nod to your opponent (life) like “Yeah?? WHAT ELSE YA GOT?” I might end the fight bloody and bruised, but not beaten. I will continue to claw, fight, leverage, question, hustle, and learn until I come out the other side with what I wanted clutched in my hot little hand.
And that is what I value. The money is necessary, and will come along in time. But the value of autonomy? Of freedom? Of self-determination? No amount of money is worth sacrificing those ideals for me. I might die poor, but at least I will die happy.