So I don’t know how many of you caught the Rick and Marty reference… But this is a Rick and Marty reference…. (Season 4, Episode 3)
The first time I saw this episode and heard this line, I wasn’t even really paying attention. My husband and I have a tacit arrangement where we put something on to watch but then I read and he scrolls Reddit. It’s our decompression/parallel play time after work, and half hour episodes are the perfect filler for noise and energy in the background. But this line floated out of the TV and hit my ear in such a way that I had to do a double take at the screen and rewind the episode to hear it again. It’s such a simple concept, but it is a HUGE part of growing up as a girl in a small town in the Midwest. There is a lot of emphasis on comparisons, living up to expectations, and doing the “right” things for the “right” reputation. No matter what you achieve, you are always compared to other peers and pitted against each other to see who will end up a hometown hero and who will be drowning their regrets at the local dive bar. I was very used to identifying what the measuring stick was, and adapting myself and my attitude to make sure I still measured up.
But this line changed my entire perspective by making me ask myself- “Who are they to give approval? Who decides what is a good life and what is a bad life? Why would I beat myself up for losing a race I didn’t want to run in the first place??”
The things that make those towns happy— consistency, obedience, control, order with a side of pleasantries and pervasive gossip— are things that make me nuts!! I don’t want to live in a neighborhood that tells me when to cut the grass. I don’t want to work in a cubicle all day and walk out 30 years later with a shitty pension and a cheap gold watch (just rewatched Speed!). I don’t want to look out my front door and see perfect little houses all in a row. I want to explore and try things and talk to strangers and make mistakes and live colorfully and boldly and without apology or malice.
And that’s when I changed my perspective. I was no longer losing a competition that I didn’t want to be in. I am earning my experiences and taking charge of the life that I actually want to live, and setting goals that I actually want to achieve. By my homegrown standards, I don’t think anyone would classify me as a success. But I am living life on my terms, by my choices, and with the grit and determination of my own spirit.
I wake up every day happy to be where I am. I take my dog on afternoon walks and spontaneously burst in to smile when I take a moment to look at the trees and mountains. I say yes to opportunities that challenge me, and I say no to things that don’t make my life better in some way. And you know what I noticed? I am far and above more satisfied with my current life, whatever “failure” state it might be in, then I ever was. There is joy is forging your own path, and there is a certain mischievous quality in me that is happy to buck tradition and jump into the unknown. My goals are my own, my life is my own, and your “boo’s” mean absolutely nothing.
And hats off to Rick & Morty for succinctly and humorously explaining this perspective-shattering concept— gotta love adult animation!